


Grief

by konako



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Mentions of Suicide, Pre-Regina's First Dark Curse, Sad stuff really, The Enchanted Forest, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 16:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/konako/pseuds/konako
Summary: Snow White's apparent death affected not only her seven loyal little men, but Red. Red, in a way no one could predict.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Luto Vermelho](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10533159) by [konako](https://archiveofourown.org/users/konako/pseuds/konako). 



The roar echoed far away.

Granny knew, when she still carried the cursed blood in her veins, that the wolf could be brought to the surface without the full moon. An unfortunate discovering that only invited tragedy and death to her younger years. Learning from her mistakes, she decided it wise to keep this knowledge from Red.

But in that moment of fury, no ignorance would survive the disaster.

Another roar scared away the animals that still surrounded the cabin. There was no going back, now.

“Red, please, calm down! This won’t bring Snow back” Granny shouted from the other side of the room, cursing her human condition. If she still possessed the beast in her bones, she could manage Red’s volatile state. The girl simply would not listen to her.

“That is the reason for it all! She _can’t_ be brought back!” The crimson figure of the woman vibrated against the wall. Her hands, tense and trembling, struck the weak wood of the cabin. The picture frames danced in their places, but they wouldn’t withstand another blow.

The furniture could wait; That wasn’t the priority glowing urgent in the old widow’s mind. She worried about things far more valuable than old paintings and dusty pots.

The lives in the village, those couldn’t replaced.

“That _Charming._ David cause all of this! It was because of his carelessness and stupid bravery that Snow—Snow is—“

The growl was restrained to the confines of the small house, but it still hurt Granny’s sensible hearing.

Never before had she heard a more furious sound. For Red, sweet and innocent, to turn against David, her friend… The wolf was close to breaking through. Granny couldn’t let that happen.

“Red! Try to _think!_ It’s not David that you’re angry with. There’s no fault in this tragedy. Snow chose this path. Honor her decision!”

Dark laughter rose from deep within Red’s throat, turning Granny’s blood into water. Before she could stop it, her granddaughter had clawed at ends of her cloak and ripped it from her shoulders, throwing it to the ground as if it were a rag — as if it didn’t mean her whole world.

The deep red cloth spread on the floor, almost like a puddle of blood. The sight too sickening for Granny to handle.

“ _Red, don’t take off your cloak!”_

“It was the Queen, wasn’t it? There is no _decision_ to be honored. It was Regina who killed her. It was Regina—“ Red’s body shook violently against her will, throwing her weight forward. She fought to keep her balance, her hands leaving her sides, now shaking in front of her body. “The Queen, she killed Snow. And David—David allowed it. It was because of his stupid love that Snow put herself in danger in the first place. If it weren’t for her _Charming_ , Snow would still be here—! I could have gone with her, protected her from the Queen”

“ _Red!”_

 _“_ But no!” Red screamed, overpowering Granny’s plea with another thundering growl. Her eyes had long lost the green hue, now glowing a sharp, threatening gold color. Granny felt her sweat run cold. “She went alone, to save her _Prince,_ who was irresponsible enough to get caught! And now, her body is rotting in a glass coffin, cold and pale for the end of times! _What a happy ending!”_

Another shudder threw her body off balance and Granny saw the sharp, unmistakable pain cross her raging features. The pain didn’t paralyze her. Red struggled to stand straight again, but another wave knocked her weight sideways, and she held onto the wooden table to keep from falling.

Another growl consumed them, and, moved by an impulse that was barely human, Red brought down her hands with force, breaking the table in half — the sound of the wood cracking meeting the wolf’s cry.

The snarl continued, and something dark took hold of Red. She charged to the door — claws and teeth sharpened, ready to run and rip bodies apart, to burn and tear anything in her way; to make anything alive pay for her pain.

But Granny wouldn’t let her act on her grief — wouldn’t let the wolf take over and storm through the village. Not to only leave Red, drained and panting on the ground, covered in so much blood and death she felt too heavy to stand again. She wouldn’t let her granddaughter — the little child she stole and swore to protect — lost her precious and hard-earned control and wreak havoc on innocent lives.

She stood on her way. She held her by her arms and look deep into the golden eyes, past the hot tears of anger and grief of her curse.

Of her lost love.

Red — the wolf, that now commanded her body — wasn’t affected by the old woman’s body standing in defiance in front of her.  Without a word, she sunk her claws on her Grandmother’s arms; and with a guttural snarl, she pushed her away, crossing the door of the cabin and leaving the widow to fall back on the snow.

Something inside Red, however, tried to contain the blind anger, but another wave of pain threatened to shatter her bones, and twisted her face in agony. The flash of consciousness was not enough to halt the wolf’s rage.

She continued her path. The force shaking her body, more frequent and less manageable, broke through, sending her falling on her hands and knees on the snow. Frozen by the monster biting and thrusting inside her, Red could only hope that someone would come and stop her in time.

In a second, the unbearable heat burning in her chest — pulsing and vibrating in harmony with her anger — exploded and expanded to her limbs, her head, her eyes, _her teeth._

She screamed as the wolf tore her from the inside out, and her vision was drowned in red.


	2. Chapter 2

She heard screaming and crackling of fire. She felt water drip from her mouth, through her canines, wetting her chest and staining the ground. Warm water, sprouting from flesh. Was it blood?

Down her throat?

Oh.

_No!_

_This shouldn’t be happening._

She fought for so long to control her wolf. She had dominated its consciousness, capable of using her form in battle, to kill only those deserving; to tear into only the stained flesh. And now, all was lost. Her work for redemption…

She couldn’t — she knew that now —, it didn’t matter how hard she tried, escape from her monster; the animal, the wolf, the curse.

The wind grazed her skin. She could feel just how fast she was running, while alternated waves of warm and cold passed by her fur. The snow, in contrast with the fire. She couldn’t see. All disconnected sensations. Sweet and bitter tastes, horrible and delicious, of warm water. No, of blood.

She cried in her mind, but nothing made it to the surface.

She could feel her chest quivering with growls and howls. She knew she felt rage. A furious wolf, large and powerful — murderous.

She could never have predicted the gravity of her wrath. She could never have trained long enough to control it.

So she closed her eyes, and prayed for it to stop.

*******

When Granny recovered from the brutal blow to her shoulders, she gathered the strength to leave the ground. Her arms hurt from the pressure of Red’s hands on her skin.

From her core, that spirit that never stopped being wolf, she kicked the pain away, where it wouldn’t get in the way of her movements. She couldn’t just lie there and wait for the night to end, the moon to disappear and take with it all of Red’s torment.

She should act and stop her girl. She would do whatever was necessary to stop innocent lives from being lost at the jaws of a grieving beast.

She ran back to the cabin, searching through the rubble for something _silver._ Anything that could pierce the wolf’s skin. That is — _how foolish of Granny_ — if she could even get close enough to do it.

She found nothing. The last silver-tipped arrow she had used, not many days ago, when Red got carried away in battle and punished the Dark Knights with more force than necessary.

“Damn it!” Granny murmured to herself, kicking a broken pot.

Unshed tears worsened her already precarious vision. She wouldn’t find anything. She thought of nothing else to stop Red, but to ask for help.

Any help — whoever was listening!

So _he_ came.

***

The wolf bent the man’s fork with no effort. The metal folding like paper in between her teeth. She jumped over him, and with her massive paw, she struck against his chest — claws like knives ripping gaps in his skin.

Another brave man tried his luck and ran to rescue his friend. He came from behind the beast and tried to impale it with his spear. The wolf barely felt it. With her tail, she whipped the man, sending him feet away to land in a sharp thud on the rocks. She then shook her shoulder and the spear fell to the ground — she lunged at him.

She snarled, ready to take one more life, but before she could sink her teeth, she landed, not on snow, but on mud.

Her paws wet and dirty, regaining balance and recognizing the suddenly different terrain. Stunned and confused, she barked at the dark. There was nothing around her. No the screams of the wounded or the stench of the dead. Not the heat from the fire or the cold of the snow.

She growled at the scent magic in the air.

Before she could detect all the new smells and sounds, a bright light flashed and blinded her for a moment. She snarled again, prepared to face whatever was coming — but when she recovered her sight, she saw a man; a small man ricking of swamp water, in front of her.

He wore dark and elegant clothing, his eyes gray and his skin like a frog’s. The wolf somehow knew who he was.

She recognized another beast.

Rumpelstiltskin.

Another growl. Now, it was Red who faced him.

That man always brought suffering with him — always deals and mischief. Was he sent to kill her? Take her to Regina? Control her so she could never escape her bloodthirsty rampage? Why would the Dark One bother with another killing mess of the Big Bad Wolf?

The bark that followed was almost intelligible. “ _What do you want from me?”_

“Oh, no, dearie. I’m not going to kill you. You don’t have to worry about that. But, from what I could see, your little tantrum wouldn’t stop at this village.”

Rumpelstiltskin stepped forward, facing the wolf. Red felt her body freeze in place. Her fur making her even larger, her ears pulled back and her body pulsating with an unending growl. The teeth ready to cut into skin, and the claws firm on the ground for another violent thrust.

But her body, _frozen_.

By magic or instinct, the animal didn’t move to face the man, like it would have done with anyone who crossed its path that night.

Instead, Red kept her charging stance, but waited for something. Something she knew _would stop her._

“A wise choice” He nodded “Even a wolf as powerful as you is not a match to magic, not isn’t that true? But, as I was saying: I’m here to stop your killing. Oh, not because it wasn’t fun to watch — oh no! Believe me, I _loved_ seeing you in action. You are far more majestic than Regina could ever describe you. However, _unfortunately_ , you would get in my way if you went any further. And I’m not in the mood to kill a creature as exotic as a werewolf”

Red’s growl slowly died in her throat, leaving only the piercing golden eyes to give out her warning.

“Snow White. Your little friend. Regina did a great job with the Sleeping Curse—“

Snow’s name was all it took to shatter all the caution Red was holding on to. She lunged forward, aiming for his neck.

She didn’t sense the change in the air. Like lightening, it was there — an invisible force, electric and hot, holding her huge body, suspended feet above the ground.

With a flick of the man’s wrist, she was sent flying, crushing through thick branches of the trees that stood in the way, until finally her back was slammed against a trunk greater than herself. The impact reverberated in her bones, and the pain found its way around her anger.

She felt as her arms hit the tree, human again. Her vision slowly cleared up, and she looked at herself — forced back into her human body, being held by magic ten feet off the ground. By The Dark One.

Now, the same beast, in a woman’s body, washed in the same blood.

The sweat that run down her temples traced lines of tension on her face, beating at the pace of her own uneven breathing.

The golden eyes never leaving _his._

Rumpelstiltskin walked closer, stepping on thin air as he walked up an invisible staircase to where Red was held. He stopped in front of her, close enough that she could smell his breath — _disgusting_. His lips curled and showed his rotten teeth, and his eyes glowed under the moon light.

“See? You didn’t let me finish! I was saying that, despite the flawless execution, the Queen’s Sleeping Curse won’t last for long. Snow’s Prince, _Charming_ , is free and running after her. In fact, I _just_ dressed him for the occasion. He is now on another romantic, heroic journey to meet his one True Love.” He gesticulated wildly “But, then, _you._ Howling and biting, howling and biting… I couldn’t let that happen, my dear.”

Red always knew that, even in human form, she could growl. Such was her response.

“You were after him — _David —_ , and if you found him and killed him… Well, that would just about ruin everything, wouldn’t it? So, I’ll be generous this time, because I know that your curse is helping Snow and her brave army _: I will let you live.”_

Red gasped, the cold and humid air filling her lungs. Before she could release it, though, he interrupted her.

“Yes. I think you understand it now. Your precious Snow White is _alive.”_

She held her breath, feeling as the relief and the shock washed over her. She exhaled, and with it, went her anger — it left her like water unbound from pressure. So much of it, she felt hollow.

But just when she was regaining her breathing, she realized what she had done. The blood covering her skin and clothes — the salted taste on her tongue.

“Oh, of course,” he grinned, aware of her recognition “That means you made this mess for absolutely _nothing._ All is okay! Things like that happen to us, monsters in fury… Now —“ His tone changed abruptly, all light leaving his eyes. His voice was now deep and threatening. “Listen well”

He grabbed Red’s face with one hand — sharp and dirty nails stinging her skin. She struggled to breathe, trying to shake her head away from his grip, but there was a strength in him beyond his physical body.

“ _You_ got the chance to have your love back, and for that you should be grateful, because it is not every day that the crippling pain of grief is so magically forgotten. _But! But!_ _But!_ ”

He forced Red’s head harder against the tree, and she groaned a suffocated sound.

“You have _no right_ over Snow White. No. You must not get in her way. Because if you think —“ Another push led the pain up Red’s skull. He stepped closer to her. “— that you can get in between Snow and her Prince, you are mistaken. _You win nothing,_ but this relief, and the chance of seeing her again. You get to go back and fight by her side, giving her everything she desires and getting nothing in return. Because that is the reason you survived today: for redemption.” He eased his grip, and stepped back. “And that is how you are meant to exist, dear. A lone wolf. Watching as the woman you love is happy with another man — happy in a way you _know_ you could never make her, simply because of what you are. For that is all that an _animal_ like you deserves.”

He dropped her to the ground and all his magic disappeared around her.

She fell on her knees; barely holding her body from hitting the ground. Her arms felt frail.

The mud splashed around, staining the dry blood on her skirt, her arms, her face. Her fading consciousness almost failed to hear his last words to her, before he vanished in the night.

“And you must be honored by what you have, and by what you recovered today.” His voice turned human for a moment, “Because other beasts still grieve” And he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Granny followed the faint trace of Red’s scent. What a tricky task that was. Her trail, at one point, simply disappeared, and Granny had to start all over, trying to piece together what exactly happened to her girl.

She wondered, now in the morning’s clarity, that the help for which she so desperately prayed could only have come from a being dark and strong enough to stop a werewolf.

It wasn’t the Blue Fairy who heard her request, but Rumpelstiltskin.

Deep down, she knew. And even deeper, she was grateful that at least _someone_ had listened to her sobbing wishes. For a moment, in the night before, she doubted werewolves were granted wishes, at all.

She found Red at the center of a dark, humid forest — away from the torn corpses and the burnt down homes. She laid on the mud. Blood, dirt and sweat covered her body. But the scent that stood out, was of guilty.

Red was awake. Her smeared face, carrying an exhausted expression — the kind of exhaustion only a werewolf such as Red knows.

She was overflowing with agony and tragedy. Once more.

“Red” Granny called to her, softly, as she kneeled down beside her, resting the crossbow on the ground. “Red, we have to go back. We _can’t_ stay here any longer.”

Red’s body didn’t move, unresponsive to the woman’s touches, that tried to pull her from the mud. She was limp.

“Red. We _can’t_ stay. The entire village knows it’s you. If they catch you, that wouldn’t be good. We’d have to run away again, leave everything behind.”

Granny felt that she could cry at any moment now and the only thing keeping her tears from bursting was the sound of her own voice, as she called to Red. To command her, to advise her, it was all that kept her from dwelling in the same pain that emanated from Red.

“Maybe it’s better that way…”

Red’s voice was hoarse and strangled. She screamed and growled all night, her throat felt raw.

When Granny finally saw her face behind the wet hair, she saw the dry blood painting her lips.

And that took her back to the first time in her life, that she found her granddaughter, recently turned thirteen, passed down on the snow. Her first massacre. She was just a child, then. The pain was just as great.

Now many years had passed, and Red still lived the same nightmare, over and over. It was so much more painful now, that they had hoped and wished that the last carnage was behind them — that they thought, foolish enough, that the wolf wouldn’t cause any more innocent deaths.

Hope was a cruel thing.

Granny tried to fight the memory. Her tears tempted her again, and she fought the weakness that grew greater and greater inside her. Granny needed to be strong, for Red. She needed to give Red the courage to stand again. From another massacre.

But she feared — honestly terrified — that there wasn’t anything left for her to do. Because now, as they were, Red had already given up her hopes of living a human life. She feared that Red was the only person capable of saving herself — and she feared Red didn’t want to.

The helplessness stabbed her like a knife.

“Maybe… If we run away again” Red spoke again, her voice so small and fragile, just above whisper. “I could try to forget everything again. Pretend I didn’t caused all of this. Something as terrible as this”

Red didn’t fight her tears, they rolled down her face, meeting mud and blood.

“I could try to convince myself that this —“ She raised her blood-stained hands “— is nothing but an accident. And, that I can use my wolf for something good.”

Red laughed. The weakest, saddest sound Granny ever heard.

“Or I can turn myself in. They lock me up and let me rot in a cell. Or a cage, whatever they find fitting. Anything would do, really. Or, even better: they could sentence me to the same end I bring. Or I could burn, like a witch —“

“Red, I won’t let you say something like that!”

Granny surrendered to the weakness.

She cried. And cried, and cried, for all the times she was strong; for all the nights she picked up her child, dazed, tired and confused from the red snow; for all the times she comforted a young woman, filled with grief and fear.

“Red, you are much more than that!”

Red didn’t react to her words. Now sitting on the mud in front of her grandmother, she assumed apathy. She had screamed and cried enough already. She was hollow and dried out of regretting so much and so often.

“Think of all the people that would miss you. Think of Peter. Anita. Me! What kind of love do you have for us, if you discard your life so easily?”

“So _easily?!”_ Red flashed alive for a moment. Green eyes a bit brighter. “Look what I’ve done, Granny! Again! Look what I continue denying that I am. _This is what I am! An animal!_ Moved my hunger and anger. And a stupid love. That is what I do.”

“No! That is the wolf!” Granny shouted back, her grip tightening on Red shoulders. “The wolf that isn’t a part of you. The wolf _no one would miss._ But you are human. You have always been. You will never not be human. What happened here” She look in the direction of the village, the corpses and the weeping families. “It was the wolf. Not you. And who do you want to punish for that?”

 “That would bring an end to both of us.” Red breathed — the air hurt her lungs. “And all the suffering we cause” She glanced in the distance, were the village let out smoke. She could hear the children and spouses yelling of despair.

“And wasn’t that exactly why you lost your mind last night? Because of a stupid sacrifice? Is that what you want to repeat? Snow White did the same thing that you are considering now, and what did it accomplish? Everything got even worse. If you want to do good to erase the bad, do that living! I won’t let you die, Red.”

Red had never heard her grandmother sound so vulnerable. She was exposed in front of her, and that hit her with force, like a current. She breathed in, and her body broke — she started panting. Pain and sadness filled her. She could not hold herself together anymore.

_“Granny…”_

“And your friend, she’s alive, right?” Granny tried to recover, leaning closer to clean Red’s face with her hands. She forced herself to imagine the blood as… as _cake_. Like a child, that ate too much, too fast. It helped a little. “The dwarves came by to warn us. I told them to come back later. But, it’s true, isn’t it? She’s alive. She woke up”

Granny smiled. A more honest expression drawn on her face. Even underneath the thick tears and the blush on her cheeks, her smile was bright.

“You have something to go back to, Red. You have something to fight for again. Nothing was lost, see? Think of Snow, and her Kingdom. What would she do without you, uh?” She grabbed Red’s face gently in her hands

Red looked back at her in utter wonder. But still, the misery lingered inside.

“You need to live, Red. To reward this people. To help us. To follow Snow” Another soft laugh left Granny. “Just think of the mess she would do if she found that _you_ gave up. No, it would be much, much worse. That’s why you need to keep going. Get up one more time, are you listening? That is what Snow would ask of you. That is what I’m begging of you, my Red”

She guided her hands to Red’s.

_“Get up”_

Red thought of Granny. Of David. Of Grumpy and all the other dwarves. She thought of Peter, Anita and Quinn. She thought of all the lives she took, and all the lives she had yet to save.

She thought of Snow.

And she got up.


End file.
